How to Predict a Divorce with 91% Accuracy
By Dr. Mark Baker
Psychologist Dr. Mark Baker explains the latest scientific research on the signs of divorce.
Here’s what others had to say:
Made me realize my 47 years with my late husband were pretty good. We never went to bed mad at each other, had lots of laughs, and while we were totally different people, we always supported each other. I have always felt blessed to have had those good years. We had rough spots, but we continued to work together to get through them. I feel you need to have a deep love and respect for your mate, for a marriage to last.
This doesn’t just work for marriages but regular relationships. This is a gem.
I’ve been with my wife for 21 years and we’ve never experienced any of these. We’ve had issues occasionally but nothing like this. Makes me appreciate what we’ve got.
Saving this in my “important” playlist. I’m not married but in a relatively new relationship and i try my best looking out for any issues so that we don’t leave anything unresolved. This is really helpful. Thank you so much!
I had a serious relationship with a woman who would regularly start fights and basically open up the “discussion” at an intensity that was at least a 7 out of 10 every time before I even knew what she was upset about. Even with time and experience, it was extremely difficult to remain calm and composed when someone is intensely attacking you and being very emotional before you even know what is going on. I tried talking with her about this, but it never made any difference. Feels really good to have my feelings and thoughts validated here.
We went to counseling, not for our marriage but for struggles from the outside that had a negative impact on both of us. The counselor told us we would be fine and weather the storm together because while hard times split many couples apart, ours only brought us closer together. Love and respect. Forty-three years and still going strong. Thank you Lord for this wonderful man, imperfect like me, but wonderful.
The four indicators, in order of time are: criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, contempt. Once you’ve got contempt, it’s pretty much over.
I’ve had all of these with my marriage in 2020 except contempt and stonewalling and didn’t even realize it. Going through Covid and pregnancy with postpartum depression all at the same time took such a toll on our marriage. I didn’t even realize how bad it was until seeing this video! Going through such a rough time just showed us how resilient our relationship is and definitely gave me a new found appreciation for my love for my husband. So glad we’re getting better and stronger and now have 6 years under our belt!
All of this applies to any kind of relationship – not just the one with your spouse – I’ve gone no contact with my parents and sister – and a majority of these points were my experience – I have a beautiful family in my wife and son – the key is and has always been mutual respect – no one’s perfect – mistakes can be made – but the ability to say sorry is healing magic (for the most part)
EVERY relationship needs 3 things to be at 100% if it’s going to work out: 1.) Love, 2.) Trust, and 3.) Communication
I suffered severe physiological problems when being with my “unhappily married” parents and it took me 10+ years to recover from them. My parents of course dont understand it. I swore to myself that I’d never be in an unhappy marriage. I just got married to a loving guy so yeah its possible to be finally happy and healthy.’
Great video! My sweet Mammaw, who was married 55 years to my granddad, (and not without times of conflict) told me to always try and remember, when I was angry, how I felt when I first fell in love with my husband, think on his good qualities, and be willing to forgive. With the Lord’s help, it has worked for almost 44 years❣️ We have gone through some very rough times, from unemployment, bankruptcy, serious medical scares, and the loss of 2 of our 3 precious adult children(most recently the devastating loss of our ‘baby’ 36 yr old son on July 4th, 2023). Though battered, our love and respect has grown for each other. Very thankful.
This is one of the best videos about marriage I have seen so far. Clear and simple, easy to relate. Wish everyone can see it before starting a relationship.
I think it’s important to note that most couples face some of these issues from time to time and as long as both appreciate the relationships it can be resolved and improved. Focusing on my own needs and psychological health really helped to re-estimate my marriage and shift the focus. Although it’s a never ending process.
My parents display all this behavior, which helped me realize growing up that I want the exact opposite in a relationship. I’m now engaged to an amazing woman, and I reckon I already have had more joyful moments than my parents. I know it takes a lot of focused effort to make a marriage last, and we’re ready for it.
Showed this to my wife – I knew our marriage was good, but we agree that not a single one of these things applies (as in we do not do any of these); but we’re gonna store this in the back of our minds to ensure it stays that way! Nice, succinct and clear – thank you!
Dated a girl once who constantly criticized and stonewalled. And also got really defensive when I’d confront her about her terrible actions. I’d say those 3 are the biggest things to look for before committing to anyone.
My mom and stepdad went through this for decades. Then my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I saw them kiss for the first time in over ten years. I thought they were hopeless. I think they may actually have a chance at healing their relationship because of the fact that my mom is face-to-face with her own mortality.
The physical stress in a relationship is so real. I threw up every day for a month in my last relationship, and I think I had about 10 kidney stones throughout it. I haven’t gotten kidney stones or chronic nausea since we broke up. Crazy!